Uncooperative Chess Experts Part II

You've already heard about the fact that I'm doing my ISS on chess and that Mr. Petrone is my expert. Well, today I interviewed him. This is as close as I could get to our specific conversation:
Ok, how old were you when you started playing?
6
What got you into chess?
Dad.
Can you elaborate?
No.
Happy mems? About chess?
All of them. Chess is a happy game.
Depressing mems?
None. They're all happy.
Got any reccommendations for beginners?
Yes. Play a lot.
With...what type of people? Who?
Anybody.
Got any favorite strategies?
Win.
Are you an offensive player or defensive?
Offensive.
Does Mrs. Weishaar know the Ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything?
Yes.