When all else fails....

....Hug a tree, and scream. I cannot stress the amazing practicality of the advice in the title line and the previous sentence. It's really not as ridiculous as it sounds, for the following reasons I'm about to present. But first, some background.
I have held this advice dear in my heart for some time now, it was first given to me during my days in Arkansas by a wonderful friend. But never have I completely understood the depth and truth embedded in this beautiful proverb until now, and I am so lucky to have come across it. And this is why.
I shall pry apart the proverb piece by piece.
1. When all else fails-
To understand this line, you must take careful note of the word "all". This means in a moment of true desperation, when you have already done everything including: had a cup of tea, started a fight between 2 other people, yourself excluded, killed someone, cried, sang a song, ate a turnip, and completed several other actions often overlooked that are also in the category of "all". I will describe the importance of the above actions in another post.
2. Hug a tree-
If you have never hugged a tree, you should. It's cold, hard, and rather uncomfortable. And that's why it's so important you hug a tree, and not a person, or even a Baldrick. Hugging anything besides a tree will lull you into a false sense of security that will become your own demise. The tree will bring forth the true seriousness of your situation: a problem that even a cup of tea cannot remedy.
3. And scream.-
This combined with the previous is the most important part of this advice. You see, after you have hugged that tree, you'll have all these crappy, self-pitying feelings that had been welled up in the dark recesses of your heart and mind that have been brutally yanked to the top of your throat. At this point, you'll begin to get these suicidal thoughts, and I MUST stress the importance of keeping yourself alive until you get the chance to scream. The Scream, you see, allows you to release all your troubles. This isn't any scream, this is The Scream of a desperate man who has just hugged a cold, hard tree that cares about you far less than you care about it.
4. The effect- This final note is about the warmth of the effect. You get this amazing feeling of peace and pleasant helplessness--the knowledge that there's nothing you can do at all, so may God deal with you like the piece of refuse that you are. And this acceptance is the absolute hardest to achieve.
This, dear friend, is the true meaning behind the brilliant proverb: When all else fails, hug a tree, and scream.