Nothing to Say

Unfortunately, I literally have nothing to say. Anyone want to say something for me?

Hello?



Is anyone out there?



Please?



Tell me someone's listening!



Even when I don't have something to say, tell me someone's LISTENING!!!!!!!!

If the broom flies...

If the broom flies, ride it.

Looking at this quote, anyone can see its proverbial meaning. This is something that your mind automatically interprets, immediately ignoring the possible practical value and instead moving on to a way one can apply it in their daily life. Because of this, when you do discover a flying broom someday, this quote will be far from your mind and you may even walk away from the opportunity to ride it.
However, the possible practical value is undeniable. When one finds a flying broom, they will be so taken by amazement that their mind may be muddled, and unable to form logical thoughts. Thus, they may end up choosing to do the wrong thing with it, such as running away screaming as opposed to riding off into the sunset. So this quotation is clearly applicable as short and simple reminder, an infallible piece of advice in the event of such an encounter and logic fails to prevail.

There are, of course, several dangers to riding this broom. For example, it may take you to a place of danger, or it may simply buck you off, the way the cursed broom in Harry Potter did. This broom can kill you, and that will certainly be a factor in your course of action if you did not have this advice. But truth be told, you will most certainly regret not trying that broom out. So what if you die from trying to ride this magical broom? How many people get to ride a broom before they die? The odds of such an occurrence is astronomical, and such a chance cannot be passed up or you shall surely go mad with the deep, abiding hatred at yourself for not testing it out. Die on the broom, and die in peace.

Also, who knows if this ride will be fatal or not? Surely you don't. Of course you don't, you have never ridden a broom. So you may not die. You may become the master of the broom, and now you have a nifty form of transportation, as well an excellent brusher of floors.

Also, careful not to sit on Dumblydore's face. He won't like that.

Flowers

I have always wondered: what is the appeal of flowers? Sure, they are very pretty. And some of them smell good. But why are flowers so popular in society? We seem to have flowers for every occasion, and even the color of the rose itself means something different. I, frankly, do not find flowers so special. In fact, to me, they are rather boring, they serve no practical purpose and die very quickly. I'd rather plant a tree that will last decades as opposed to some flowers that wither shortly after they bloom. Of course, it's rather hard to carry an entire tree to a date. So why aren't we breeding more little trees, like the ones that the Japanese are so fond of? I'm fond of them too, and I think they are much prettier than flowers.

Now, how awesome would it be if someone gave you one of these for Valentine's Day?

Creativity!

     We've all heard it before, those dreaded words in elementary school. "Be creative." "Use your imagination." I absolutely hated it when teachers say that, for I feel like I haven't a creative bone in my body. I preferred having them tell me what to draw for that big art thing, and what to make for that big science project, instead of being set loose in the middle of the ocean with some wires, some plastic, an engine, and a saw and being told to make an airplane. That's why today, I want to investigate these horrid words, and see if maybe there is some truth behind them, despite having the word "creative" pretty much ruining my early years of school.
     I believe the teachers do deserve some merit for making us exercise the art of thinking beyond our tight little self-induced cages. Why? Because that's one of many things that set us humans apart from animals. We create, and we build, and we utilize. Animals are very limited in their musings, and some more intelligent ones can maybe utilize, but only we can truly create. Somebody created this computer that I'm typing on right now, and somebody created this couch I'm sitting on. Somebody was shunned for saying the earth was probably not in the center of the universe. Why?
     I believe this may be because we have time to sit down and think. Most animals spend much of their time looking for food and just surviving and little to none on contemplating the universe. So one of the first problems that we used our wrinkly little brains to do is take care of the bare necessities. Instead of running around looking for food, we started growing it ourselves. Because we're lazy. Instead of sleeping under a rock or building a dam, we found some nice little pre-made homes in caves. Because we're lazy. So laziness makes us think of ways to satisfy that need to do less work.
      I didn't really know where I was going with this post. But I think I just proved that laziness can be a good thing. Chew on that, everyone.

Rain. The Buckety Kind

The sky is angry. Black and rumbling, what else could it be? if weather had emotion, it would be angry right now. I believe the earth is very capable of taking care of itself despite us pumping poisons into its air, but the only problem is, does it have us human in its recovery plan? I don't like to go all hippie, "let's-save-the-world" on anyone, but you can't expect a powerful entity like nature not to fight back when we make it angry. The movie "The Happening" is one of the best examples of this. It wasn't a bio terrorist attack, it was the plants. Perhaps is won't be as drastic or dramatic as that. Or perhaps it'll be far more dramatic. But slow or quick, I believe our biggest threat is not Iran's nukes or Korea, I think it's the plants. And their mother.

When all else fails....

....Hug a tree, and scream. I cannot stress the amazing practicality of the advice in the title line and the previous sentence. It's really not as ridiculous as it sounds, for the following reasons I'm about to present. But first, some background.
I have held this advice dear in my heart for some time now, it was first given to me during my days in Arkansas by a wonderful friend. But never have I completely understood the depth and truth embedded in this beautiful proverb until now, and I am so lucky to have come across it. And this is why.
I shall pry apart the proverb piece by piece.
1. When all else fails-
To understand this line, you must take careful note of the word "all". This means in a moment of true desperation, when you have already done everything including: had a cup of tea, started a fight between 2 other people, yourself excluded, killed someone, cried, sang a song, ate a turnip, and completed several other actions often overlooked that are also in the category of "all". I will describe the importance of the above actions in another post.
2. Hug a tree-
If you have never hugged a tree, you should. It's cold, hard, and rather uncomfortable. And that's why it's so important you hug a tree, and not a person, or even a Baldrick. Hugging anything besides a tree will lull you into a false sense of security that will become your own demise. The tree will bring forth the true seriousness of your situation: a problem that even a cup of tea cannot remedy.
3. And scream.-
This combined with the previous is the most important part of this advice. You see, after you have hugged that tree, you'll have all these crappy, self-pitying feelings that had been welled up in the dark recesses of your heart and mind that have been brutally yanked to the top of your throat. At this point, you'll begin to get these suicidal thoughts, and I MUST stress the importance of keeping yourself alive until you get the chance to scream. The Scream, you see, allows you to release all your troubles. This isn't any scream, this is The Scream of a desperate man who has just hugged a cold, hard tree that cares about you far less than you care about it.
4. The effect- This final note is about the warmth of the effect. You get this amazing feeling of peace and pleasant helplessness--the knowledge that there's nothing you can do at all, so may God deal with you like the piece of refuse that you are. And this acceptance is the absolute hardest to achieve.
This, dear friend, is the true meaning behind the brilliant proverb: When all else fails, hug a tree, and scream.

Questions

Why must I be pressured into writing things on this blog when I have nothing to say? Why must I post for the only 2 people who read this blog? Is it because I'm a good friend? Or is it just because I want to look back in the archives several years later and wonder if it was really me who wrote these things? I just don't know anymore.